wetgrain

about shop archive submit

Before the War

Somewhere in May falls
this same drizzle. The same sky

shrouds a city I loved
enough to let it go

barely looking back
I return on occasion. To stare

you learn against your will, over time
all faces vanish away

behind a window. Hands
twitch or thin they

touch in May or now
what is not there

utters your name, tentatively
fingerprints spell

pieces of dirt on the glass
block the sight of waterdrops.

Once upon a time there was a deadless city
in that city I forage your voice

the two legs of desire crawled
on old yellow tiles

One noon I was about to fall down
fainting under the weight of a wing

destruction had already begun, animals
howled as instants before the earthquake

we confused our desire to love with panic
for the future came that whiff of the moribund.

Meanwhile we walked, meanwhile
we went through the darkness as if it was our right

we dodged the rain in dilapidated rooms
we counted the seconds left to enter

in reality faces are always cruder
gestures less sharp

a hand waving in the air is not a goodbye it is
a blow

that did not happen, a blow

suspended in the sky unseals the scar.
Nobody knows if they will survive, nobody

knows if they will spend years in silence, crouching
the pavement awaits the drops motionless, this rain

this identical zinc sky. The alloy
takes place, a face swaps itself into the distance.

When I was complete, something says.
Before the war, someone or something

says: before losing what I was destined
to lose

somewhere in May, before
shrinkage and before subtraction

ruins looked delicate. Never
have I known what name to give

to those who lose a sister. Are they
orphans are they bereaved are they injured?

Antigone claimed this was the irrevocable
loss. Before laceration

this sky occurs, perpetually
the same drizzle dangles from your hair

or mine

how strange it has been to grow old without
imagining a leaf alight on your shoulders

without graves without cavities the city
open your mouth, swallow

your own words what you said:
immortality lasted so little.

Cristina Rivera Garza